Some hoomer
____________________________________________________
"Honey," said this husband to his wife, "I invited a friend home for supper."

"What? Are you crazy? The house is a mess, I haven't been shopping, all the dishes are dirty, and I don't feel like cooking a fancy meal!"

"I know all that."

"Then why did you invite a friend for supper?"

"He recently found out that he has terminal lung cancer, and just wanted to say goodbye."

____________________________________________________
Young David came home from school one day and found his pet chicken laying on the ground with his legs pointing straight up into the sky. When his father got home, he explained that the chicken has died and his legs were pointed up to Jesus in heaven.

They buried the chicken and that was that. Two weeks later his dad came home from work and David ran up to him yelling, "Daddy, Daddy, we nearly lost Mommy today."

"What?" his father replied.

"We were crossing the 'Y' Bridge overlooking the bay, and Mommy stopped the car. She stood on the ledge for two hours while the police and onlookers convinced her to step down. Mommy is taking a nap with her medicines now."

____________________________________________________
A man is in a hotel lobby. He wants to ask the clerk a question. As he turns to go to the front desk, he accidentally bumps into a woman beside him and as he does, his elbow goes into her breast. They are both quite startled. The man turns to her and says, "Ma'am, if your heart is as soft as your breast, I know you'll forgive me." She replies, "That's sexual harassment, you pig."
_________________________________________________
Two men walk into a bar. A third man stops in front of the bar and moves it out of his path. "Gosh, what a silly place that bar was," he thought to himself.
_______________________________________________________________
What did the blind deaf and mute baby get for Christmas?

A little wooden horse, but the baby will never see the bright and cheerful colors his grandfather used to paint the horse he carved for his little grandson before he passed away.
_________________________________________
A man walks into a bank and declares he is going to rob it. Before he can make his escape, the cops surround the place. The negotiator asks the man why he is doing this. The man explains his wife died while saving his daughter from an icy river one night after they crashed the car over an embankment. His daughter became paraplegic after hitting some rocks and he was trying to get enough money to pay for her and also pay for his mother's recurring tumor. A sniper dead centers his head with a bullet.
____________________________________________
One boy asked his father:
What's the difference between an African and an Indian elephant?

His father replied:
Generally speaking, the Indian elephant (now known as the Asian elephant) is smaller than the African variety, averaging at approximately 3,000-5,000 kg in weight, while the African variety weighs in at 7,000-10,000 kg. The African elephant also has a concave back, unlike it's Asian cousin. The ears are also quite different, with the African elephant having much larger ears. The female African elephant tends to grow large external tusks, a trait restricted to mainly male Asian elephants.

I hope this cleared up your problem with distinguishing between the two main branches of elephants. Don't worry, not many people can tell the difference.
___________________________________________________________
- posted by jake @ 12:46 AM

 
All I want
I think I need to go get a job. I dont do crap all day. Well, thats an understatement, I guess... no thats wrong. Alright. Fuck this.



Today I went upstairs and I noticed the sun was still shining outside. I was so psyched, and then it got better. I went into my kitchen and I found a magnafying glass! Like the real deal, it was all fancy and huge.

I grabbed a ton of stuff like bananas and candy and took it outside to burn. I must have spent like 2 hours just burning stuff in my driveway, my parents were at work, and I was alone and bored.

I think the neighbors are on to me. They give me funny looks now, like those looks people give other people when they know they are staring at a crazy person. I dont know if Im really crazy, but the neighbors might be. Yeah, thats it! Hey... I have an idea.


I dont :( I think I will go outside and play with my remote control car. HEY, if anyone knows where a dawg can get a job, hook it up!
- posted by jake @ 9:17 PM

 
fools be tripping
Yo, so I guess I am going to college. Its community college, but hey,its sweet. I met some pretty shady ladys, which is always cool. Its a shame they live so damn far away from me, its cool though, im hauling them out here anyways.

I love it. I have been doing some decently fun stuff recently, screwing around. Playing with the guitar (Lie). Im sitting in my basement right now watching the movie Camp Nowhere, which is fucking awesome. I love it, I love it soooo much. They just made the pact that when they arent geeks anymore, they will go out with ex geeks like themselves. BUT NOT EACHOTHER, HOOOONOOOO.


Im actually decently tired right now, like, im wicked tired. I meant to say thirsty. I am so tired, damn it i wrote it again. I am not tired, im just really bored. I wake up at like 5 every day, which is right now, when I have woken up. Daves living here for a little while until he moves to arizona or something.

Last night his car broke down on the way to my house, so we had to push it into some old folks home residential thing. Its sitting there right now, we have to go get it, but it doesnt run, and we are out of gas caskets. SO we have no way of actually filling it up. We could potentially syphon gas from someone elses car, but I cant figure out how to do it. I mean, it doesnt even fit in the hole. Well. Whatever.
- posted by jake @ 4:47 PM

 
Wheres school?
Yo, whats up crew. I have been having the worst summer. Whatever though, its all good. I still have fun. Too much fun actually, well not actually.

so anyways, if you guys are after money you should sell your blood. I dont know what to talk about. I am so bored, I'm watching that snoop dogg show, its pretty cool. I'm going to be updating hardly ever. Hah. I almost lied about that.

Pretty soon everyones going to college, in fact a few of them have already left. I of course am not, that just wouldn't be too cool. I wouldnt be able to pull that shit off. Sure I would!

I dont care though, I just gotta find some shit to do. Maybe I'll work on the website more, yeah thats what I will do. Ill add games, stuff like that, it will give me enough time to update my site.
- posted by jake @ 3:43 PM

 
An amazing what?
the trucks outside want to spill my drink... well someone does im sure. you see my drink is on the window sill, in front of the curtain... these trucks play games with me, they know how i love seeing/knowing whats there, so they drive, but they dont show themselves. they just want me to touch the curtain, and foil my folly all over the floor and electronics!
its soy milk... fyi

i should move my drink... but the areas covered. Besides, its pitch black in here, and the music is driving me mad. Or is it the fan? I dont know... The first thing I did when I came into my room was turn the fan on, probably to fuck with me. The point is my drink should be in a different spot, although there is no spot for it.

I dont know whos awake in my house right now... I came in, there was a van. I remember hearing the sound of a tread machine being used. I didn’t so much hear the noise as I felt the rumble of the tread spinning against the wheels rocking the floor and shaking the floorboards. I know it though... I recognize that sort of thing. Probably because of the garage door, its either sensitized me, or ya know, DE-sens... I cant be sure. I feel the movements around the house, its how I work. I work around it/with it?.

The only light in my room is the glow of this monitor. Although I cant be sure of that, seeing as how my eyes are glued to it. There could be a teddy bear fireworks show going off elseware in this room and I wouldn’t know any the better. My fingers feel good gliding across this keyboard, its a very comfortable feeling, typing. I could write anything right now, and I correct myself so fluidly. The music helps though... although the song is done. It was some sort of fun up beat song, now it feels like a song im not going to like.

I decided not to change it

And it turned out good. Although i cheated, I fastforwarded the song. I shouldnt have, i should have trusted it. Then again I dont have much trust in anything... I have soy milk, but I mentioned that. The song is getting good now, its some sort of techno song. Its only 7pm and I feel so tired. I cant wait until I wake up, though Im not sure how im going to do it. This song is actually turning out to be pretty gay. I should stop writing about it. Hmmm

I think im gonna stop writing now. After this song is done of course. Its intense, it wants me to write. I had a bunch of weird thoughts today. I brought them up with my peers which turned out decently good. One of the concepts was based on some sort of lie... or not really a lie, just a method of proving ones self. It started out with someone saying something like this:

Dude1:I have

nevermind, its a stupid concept

No, ill go on. I came up with an idea, what if someone woke up one morning. lets say you. And you went to school, at school you suddenly realized people you spoke to, who normally caused you to be very self conscious and drawn away, suddenly loved you. You could go up to anyone and have a conversation with them instantly charming and claiming their heart, leaving complete devotion, desire in every aspect.

Although suddenly you realize that the conversations which draw this enchantment is in a foreign tounge you dont understand. Words never heard of, sounds you've never imagined. Suddenly you find yourself in the most intense mental conflict you have ever encountered. Its not you... but they love it!... didnt they love you!?...But they do!... who!?


This is getting nowhere. Thanx 4 reading. 3mA1|_ /|\3 doodz
- posted by jake @ 7:03 PM

 
No title (JK. title!)
I am writing this as quickly as I can. I dont know why I am even bothering... actually I do. Im bothering because I swore I would write an update before I went to bed. Now I feel like going to bed, so I want to stop writing this.

Hell, its probably not gonna make sense. F- it! (fuck) So yeah.. What have I been up to today. I just got back from a lil drivin aimless action with laura. I met two kids, one was named Kenny. He was wicked cool, but I just met him, so who knows. Well. I know. I'll hate him in a week, but whatever, lets pretend I dont really know whats on the universal agenda for a few minutes.

I was thinking earlier about the lil things that make people do those lil things. What a use of lil. Yo, anyways. What im talking about is the little things we can do to make ourselves feel better, or even look better, without really trying, but you know you were trying god damn it.

For instance. If someone is rocking out to a song right... and they are doin that thing where they kind of rock out at the nearest person. For inst... example, in a car. Then theres that little thing, you know, a look in their eye or whatever so you assume they are showing you a song you dont know. At this exact moment you subconciously scheme the works out just right so you pull something smooth. That smooth item being something like throwing down the last drum beat. Or slappin your knees or whatevers close to you to the last few hits.

At that moment you feel wicked awesome, not because you did something amazing, just because you feel so god damned smooth. You wanna tell yourself you know whats up.

What I just wrote is something that I have been meaning to write for a while. Its a shitty little example of the shit that im going for in what I may force myself to write in these fuckers. I remember coming up with it when it happened to me, like five days ago. And I told my friend Jess to remind me about the Last drum beat. She didnt, which is why this has taken five days.

Thats a lie, thats not why this has taken five days. Its taken five days because I dont write in it every day... proven by the fact that I come up with hundreds of these little tidbits of bullshit throughout the day, and make note that I want to throw it into writing that night, and either dont remember(nah) or dont have the energy or will power to do it (lets pretend this here's one of them "nah"s)

Whatever, Im tired. I have to piss, and the lighting in here is pissing me off. So once I stand up, im not gonna wanna sit down again to finish this. IM TYPING THIS SO FAST. NIGHT!
- posted by jake @ 9:18 PM

 
My finger still hurts.
I was just sitting here thinking of a title, part of my process was just typing up random ideas that popped into my head. After a few words I remembered my injured finger. I sometimes sleep funny on my hand, like bent under my head, and cut off circulation to my pointer finger. It's so crazy, it gets all swollen up and I cant move it. Anyways, I'm just recovering from that, it takes like 3 days... Its most likely going to influence a lot of what I type.. but whatever, lets see if I can struggle a little focus beyond the pain!

Alright, check this out. I was cleaning up my room a minute ago.. not like a clean up, because I did that a few days ago with jess, I was styling it. I was setting up my lavalamps in different corners of the room. And I threw a christmas light up around my computer... I have a picture somewhere.. hold on!

I couldnt find it. Anyways, after I put the lights all around the computer, I decided it was too bright. I wanted to hook a pillow over some of them for some shadow action. I got a case and then looked around for thumb tacks. I looked everywhere and I wanted to look on the floor, I just had a feeling. Although I didnt end up looking under the bed.

I didnt want to. Can you blame me? Thats risky business, something like that holds quite a bit at stake. If I look, and do find thumbtacks in the carpet, I will have the tacks to put the pillowcase up, but I also agree to drawing a distinct conclusion to my already abnormally elevated paranoia, which could only end in a never ending search for thumbtacks in my carpet. I dont want to live with that knowledge...

I reckon its the same reason we stopped checking those movements in the corner of our eye. For the most part, every time we looked there was nothing there, right? I think there is some sort of sub-conscious meddling rocking out giving us a nervous feeling in the pit of our stomach so we stop looking at the stuff in the corner of our eye. A self created delusion fueled by a casually overlooked assumption every instance of law of averages can hold true. Assuming if you keep on checking to see what that was, eventually some sort of monster will be eyeing you from the corner of your room, scowling ready to attack!

Look once, and the goosebumps begin.. Look twice and your pushing it. Look three times, and you probably wont be able to stop.

...I suppose you could learn to sleep with one eye open!
- posted by jake @ 9:11 PM

 
Depression Sets In
Im in the library of the school right now and I am typing this up because i dont feel like doing a project on the great depression. I'm sitting next to Tyla, shes awesome, shes writing about Darwin, I wish I was writing about darwin, its so much cooler than this crap.

Whats so great about... nah, just kidding.I wont go there, but what I will do is bullshit a few words until Its time to go.

I wonder what time this period ends, I hope it ends soon. Theres a sweet play going on next period that I cant wait to see. It should be great fun. This period might be over in one minute, if so I will abruptly stop typing this and click post.

Hold on while I give it a title... There, isnt that cute? Ya know, because I am doing a project on.. I wont go there.

So how have yall been? Since I stopped updating the emails have certainly slowed a bit. I hope you havent forgotten about the dawg.Never forget the dawg!
- posted by jake @ 9:11 AM

 
My away message on AIM says 'HOPE'
I'm listening to shady right now, so who knows what crazy shit I might throw into this. Probably not much, im a bit too tired to be creative tonight. I'm feeling so lazy, but once again I forced myself into this seat to write this up.

I'm looking forwards to the point when this looks long enough so I can click Publish Post and get to the next item on my list, which is watch aladdin downstairs with a fan blasting on me and the heat pumped up. I have my nice thermopedic pillow in my lap right now, its so nice. It makes typing this all a little bit easier on me, beacuse its a little more interesting.

Lets talk about my magic trick. I have this magic trick that I do whenever I go to parties or peoples houses. I did it today over my buddies house to his little sister. Not such a great reaction but it also wasnt such a good audience. It's a silly little trick I do. I have someone put their hand on a table in front of them. I put my hand on that way too, but i twist it first... actually never mind its a stupid trick.

Lets see if I can remember this joke I used to love... I could throw that up here. Actually no. I'll tell you something I did today...

OK I've got it (I really dont, hold on)..

I have no idea what to talk about. I didnt do anything interesting at all today. I need to keep a little notebook on me at all times and jot down shit I come up with or talk about with people. Because im sure some of it might be more interesting than this shit, but unfortunatly it all gets lost into the black holes of the mind only to be resurfaced at the most inconvenient time when there is nothing I can do about it besides giggle at it and forget it again.

Jesus christ am I ever rambling, ill leave you with the next stream of words I come up with... I never knew what love was until I fell in love with you... spin with me you gangster. Lets get dizzy and laugh
- posted by jake @ 2:17 AM

 
today, lets. WTF i dont kn... (NO TITLE)
Ok. lets see. Today we are gonna write about the first thing that comes into our head. What is that. lets see...

I guess I'll start off with what I did today. OH! I KNOW!

I had the weirdest dream the other night and I decided that I want to give a speech at the graduation. The way it appears to work, is if I am able to get every single senior to throw down a JonnyHandkock giving my idea a thumbs up, I can give the speech.

I dont even know what I want to talk about, nor have I put any effort into considering some sort of alterior motives my subcontious is brewing behind my back. Who knows for sure! Imagine the possibilities.

Oh! I had quite a schizo style mental debate during school today. I couldnt decide what stance I would take reguarding the renovation of our school. The problem is, I dont think that the school has any excuse for such an event. The books are falling apart, and the computers are shit. I would have thought those things would have been taken care of long before a school considered a multi million dollar project.

But who am I to say? No one. I'm sure theres very good reasons for everything going on in that school. I just refuse to believe those reasons are anywhere even close to what reasons were voiced. Who cares though. It's not like its ever effected me before. I don't know what its like to pay a tax, or even understand the basics of what taxation is all about... so I really should have no opinion on the subject. But never forget! I'm gonna voice these shitty opinions anyways. (to no one)

Why did I start this? I didnt even feel like it. Its as though I am forcing myself to do this. Well, not as though. I AM forcing myself to write this shit up, and for what reason. It doesnt even make any fucking sense.


Fuck it!
- posted by jake @ 8:34 PM

 
a reflection?
Today was a really good day. By that, I mean terrible.

In contrast to last night, this was the worst day in a long while. I woke up with charleys feet in my face. Or perhaps it was his feet in my face that woke me up. Either way, I was startled. We had slept on the same bed because we were sleeping in his sisters dorm 2 hours away from home sweet home at Westfield state college.

After grabbing some delicious breakfast that charley paid for we headed home. The journey was a long and hard one. I didnt have any cigarettes and charley thought it was making me upset, i dont think so, but whatever.

About halfway home he stopped at a truck stop and bought me some, the nice guy :) The poor guy has to buy me so much stuff every time he takes me out of the town of northborough for over 2 hours.

Anyways, once I got home charley left to go shower and get ready. We called up monkey and monkey said he was in Natick at the mall. So we decided to clean up and wait for him. A few hours later, I got sick of calling and called to find out they had met up without calling me and made some excuse that they thought I would call. That really really pissed me off, so I yelled at them for a while, gave them some cold shoulder, followed by us all getting along again.

Later that night we watched The Forgotten at charleys, which was pretty fun. Charley made pizza and me and dave pretended we were kings, eating peanuts. Oh boy. At the end of the night we left charley at his house and dave dropped me off. I came inside and called Jess up. We spoke for a few hours, she wanted me to sneak out for a bootie call but I was so fucking tired. Next time though, right?
- posted by jake @ 7:04 PM

 

I Found These Notes (.Day.7.)

I don't know how, but I think that my memory is being altered every single night. I had forgotten entirely to write anything down for the past 13 days. How is this possible? I can't think of any logical way they could be doing this to me, but at the same time I don’t remember large instances of the past days.

I feel as though I am being controlled completely, every move I make is being manipulated by a higher source. Perhaps even my words, what I am writing right now.. I don't think so though, but that isn’t really saying a lot.

There are large holes in my routines, every day has multiple instances something strange happens. I have been calling them "void’s” to myself, it seems to fit whatever it is that’s happening. I am not sure how many I go through, but this is when I think they do work on me, or to me... I have no idea.

One of them takes place sometime at breakfast, this is the only one I am sure of. Every morning I wake up, go down the hall, and eat with my family. At some point once I have eaten food, something happens, I don’t know what, but I think it lasts 3 hours. I usually wake up around noon in a random spot in the house. They gave me stories or explanations the first several times it happened. Things about me feeling sick and passing out, but it feels like they don’t care anymore. I usually wake up in front of the T.V now, I suppose they believe I think I dozed off while watching the television, even though I never watch it unless I am talking to Sarah, my sister, who seems to be watching it constantly.

I wish I knew what it is that they have been doing. I have been questioning how long they plan on keeping this up. Most importantly how long they believe I will believe I am on summer vacation. There are so many questions that need to be answered... For the mean time I plan on questioning everything, and assuming the worst in everyone surrounding me. I have a feeling that a lot of things are going to be answered soon... which is a frightfully unnerving feeling, because on the other hand I have a dark gut feeling that everything is working towards a conclusion. I don't think I am going to like this conclusion.

- posted by jake @ 1:33 AM

 

I Found These Notes (.Day.6.)

Strangest thing happened. They took me to the hospital, where I spent the last 5 days. After being woken up abruptly up on August 12th with the whole family standing around me in my bedroom it all started. I remember thinking that they didn’t match the situation they were claiming to be in, they looked indifferent yet claimed to be concerned. Its shocking to find out your deathly ill, and it turns out your the only one who didn’t notice. Immediately realizing something odd was going on, I resisted with all my might, though it proved fruitless when I found myself in the car on the way to the hospital. After being forcefully put inside of the vehicle I decided I needed to find another way to get out of it, unfortunately I did not succeed. My mother who I will be referring to as K from now on, because I feel uncomfortable saying my mother, said that I should take some pills to help me get some sleep. I looked into my hand to find 2 small round dark green pills with no number or symbol. As realistically as possible I feigned swallowing the pills, to later spit back into my hand and place into my pocket.

Once we arrived to the hospital there were people in long white lab coats standing outside waiting for me. I was told to hold on while the doctors checked up on things, and everyone got out of the car and went over to them. With uneasy faces the doctors spoke to my family, occasionally glancing over at me followed shortly with a shake of the head. After what seemed like 10 minutes or so, K came back to the car. She opened my door and leaned in, nothing was said for a few seconds as we sat in uncomfortable silence, I caught her noting my apprehensive attitude about the situation. I asked her what was the matter, to which she asked me if I had taken those pills she gave me. I said yes, she paused, and then told me it was time to go in and see the doctors.

A wheelchair was rolled out to the car, as though they expected me to be physically weak. When I stood up to get into the chair I was met by the doctors shooting odd looks at one another, as though Christopher Reeves just stood up in front of them. A woman got behind me and wheeled me into the building. I was taken down three long corridors quite quickly with hurried doctors on all sides of me muttering things about my appearance, and I swear I caught them questioning me taking the pill at least four times. As I sat in that chair defenseless slowly working towards God knows what fate I couldn’t help but stare at the walls.

The final corridor they brought me down had different wallpaper than the others. Though whether it was actually wallpaper or paint I am still not sure. In the other halls leading up to this one the designs were squares, white walls with black squares all around them in a slightly random pattern. The walls in the final corridor were covered in a dark shade of gray where the white was, and dark red diamonds casually replaced the squares. I watched the diamonds arbitrarily weave up and down the dark walls. I felt uneasy, and was contemplating questioning the whole situation in actual fear for my life threatening a scene when my thought process was thrown off by an intrusive sharp pain in my right arm. I knew what had just happened, and I regretted not being able to do anything about it. Sure enough when I looked over I spotted the nurse putting a rather large needle back onto a tray that was also gliding down the hall besides me.

Whatever drug I had avoided earlier was surely in me at that point. There was nothing to do now, I didn’t bother wasting my time asking what I was injected with, what was the point of drawing another lie from them to brush off. I found that the less questions I asked the less they attempted to conceal, probably feeling as though I wasn't catching on.

I looked down at my legs for a few seconds, I hated looking so defenseless in the wheel chair. When I looked up towards the hall to see where we were heading I was not surprised by the evident blurriness I was experiencing. I was sure to pass out soon enough, why else would they drug me other than to get me to sleep.

I fought the sleep as hard as I could, hoping to at least get a glimpse of what was happening. It couldn't be long I figured, as I saw the hall ending shortly. Sure enough we turned into the final stretch, A short corridor, at the end of which were two large steel doors. As I was wheeled inside the room a depressed tingle rolled down my back releasing my tension. This room was exactly what I was hoping it would not be, everything I could have never expected to see inside of a hospital. It was like a dungeon, a medieval torcher chamber. The floor was cement, the walls were iron, what was this room doing in a hospital I wondered to myself.

The drugs slowly began to take hold of me, my eyelids were closing and I felt my body sinking into the seat. It was useless to attempt to stay awake any longer anyways, the members of this room made it apparent that they were waiting until I fell a sleep to continue.

From that point on I was completely unconscious, with the exception of three moments I woke up. Which I rather wish I didn’t, because I know now that there are differences in my body I can't blissfully deny.

The first instance was the longest. When I became aware of a sharp pain in my head immediately my eyes flew open. There were blinding lights above my horizontal body, I could only make out shadows. The people standing over me had face masks on, to my side I heard K talking with someone. I also could not catch everything she was saying, but I did hear her mention a date. She wanted to know the exact date of when something was going to happen. The doctor said they don't know, and it depends on a him I can only assume is me. The man standing above me doing something to my hair noticed my eyes open and I was quickly gassed and out again.

The second instance was only for a moment, I was in a different room. I was standing, which confused me. I recall my eyes opening, looking downwards and growing very disoriented. I watched my feet flop around like rubber and lead my collapse to the floor. I was swiftly picked back up again by a tall man with a beard. Again my eye lids collided and I was out.

The final time was the strangest, but shortest. When the light flooded my retinas this time a large room came into focus, with people seated all around it. The best description I can offer is a living room, though one in a mansion. All around me were people sitting and staring at me, I was standing again. From behind me the bearded man surfaced to quickly glance into my eyes. As he turned from me to speak to the audience of a dozen maybe, I recognized his voice to be that of the man talking to K.

When I woke up after that I was in the car on the way home. As quickly as I yawned I was demanded to remain sleeping, to keep up my strength. My head was pounding, and I couldn’t sleep. We got back to the house and I went into my room, at which point I simulated sleeping for a few hours, during those hours I stared at the wall. I felt something strange going through my head, like a pulsation that goes from the back of my skull to the front, into my eyes. When the pulsation extends to my eyes, for a moment, I feel as though I am dreaming, but not. Its as though my vision is shifting to perceive someone somewhere else in the world. I can't explain it, it may just be whatever chemicals they put in me to knock me out playing with me, but its concerning none the less.

I'm concluding this entry for tonight, tomorrow I plan to stir this mixture of madness some more, see what results follow. The date is August 17th, 2004, they say I believe.

- posted by jake @ 11:19 PM

 

I Found These Notes(.Day.5.)

It is day 5, at 11:00PM. I think I have grown ill, my stomach feels absolutely terrible. This day has gone surprisingly awful, I am now left with more questions than I began. I didn't even think that was possible. I am starting to believe there is even more going on than what I had first perceived. I think the family is in on it, whatever it is.

I woke up this morning with a pounding headache, I rose from bed and looked out the window to see the morning sun rising. I brushed off the events from last night deciding that it must have just been a bad dream that freaked me out. Ignoring the reality I was feeling during the entire ordeal.

There are several factors guiding me to the belief that this family is more than they appear. The first issue is an obvious one, I believe I was drugged this morning at breakfast. I was sitting there eating my food, and the family was acting stranger than usual. I was asking my generally vague questions to them like I have the past few mornings. In a half attempt to gain more knowledge about myself in a non obvious way, just asking enough to piece it all together later. After I spoke about the incident last night the family shot each other strange looks.

Oh, I am getting ahead of myself. I keep referring to a family having realized I haven’t gone into much detail about them yet. There are 4 other people I sit with at breakfast. One has just arrived today, being my sister who just arrived from college. I hadn’t heard mention of a sister since I "woke up" 5 days ago, but I am sure I haven’t heard a lot of vital shreds of info. There is also my mother and my father, my father is a large bearded man overpowering my mother, who is a blonde petite woman with curly hair and hazel eyes. The final is my uncle, uncle Jim. I don’t think he lives here though, based on the way he acts around the house. I never see him rifling through cupboards, he only eats when given food, I gather its his vacation. That and his thick Scottish accent gives him away as being foreign.

Anyways, after asking a few more questions my mother arrived with grapefruit. I tasted the grape fruit and made a sour face to which I was immediately confronted about by my mother. She asked me if anything was the matter with my food. I told her it tasted bitter after having just brushed my teeth, which was the truth. At the time only assuming that I usually love grapefruit which would warrant suspicion with my facial expression. I think my lie handled it though.

The next several minutes were a blur, I remember shaking my head often, driven by a feeling of uncomfortable twitching. My arms and legs grew heavy and I could no longer hold my spoon, I recall it dropping to the floor in slow motion. I kept trying to make faces out in the room, trying to see the reactions I was getting, hoping to understand what might be happening. Was this a seizure? A medical problem I was unaware I had? I still don’t know, though I had a deep gut feeling that this was no accident.

I woke up on my bed just as my mom was entering with a plate of food. I glanced over at the clock noticing it was now 6:00PM. I was very apprehensive about the food when she gave it to me, but hadn’t really gotten a grip of what was going on around me, and began to eat. While eating it I ran the earlier situation over and over in my head, a growing distrust surfaced sometime between the soup and the grilled cheese sandwich. At that point I decided I didn’t really feel like eating any more of her food. I don’t know what happened, but whatever it was I think may have had something to do with that grapefruit. That’s why she was so concerned with my facial expression hoping I had not caught on. Another odd detail was that they all looked so calm, the faces I did make out during my episode appeared completely indifferent to the situation, as though it was expected.

I am being forced to watch my step from now on. The rest of the day I spent in bed, I only crawled out just now to scribble down my notes before I lose them, I want this while it is fresh in my head. I am going back to bed now, before I pass out in this chair. The date is August 12th, 2004. Supposedly

- posted by jake @ 11:28 PM

 

I Found These Notes(.Day.4.)

It's dark outside right now. A feeling of shock is running through my head, I think I missed today. I don't think that this is the same darkness I tried going to bed in last night. It's a new day, I am sure of it. Let me tell you what happened, I’m feeling worried again.

I went to sleep last night after writing an entry in this journal. I woke up with a start, when I looked at the clock it was flashing a red 12:00, the electricity must have just gone out in the minute I woke up. I wondered what time it was. I got up and crept towards the door, if it was still night I didn't want to wake anyone up, nor did I want to draw attention to myself from whatever may have woken me up, an intruder perhaps. As I moved closer and closer to the door I heard an odd hum coming from beneath the crack, a growing drone. Suddenly a light which I can only describe as being a flashlight quickly crossed the bottom of the door.

Just then the lights in my room turned out, leaving me in pitch black. The unexplainable fear that surged through my body at that moment was enlightening, I felt as though my legs had sunk 3 feet into the floor and my joints were filled with cement. The idea of moving seemed like a ridiculous objective, a concept never really even considered during those 10... 15 seconds.

When the lights turned back on I took a second to adjust. I rubbed my eyes and when light filled them again I was confronted by my door being completely ajar. Someone either opened it and left, or came in. I stepped towards it and just as my foot touched the doorway I was greeted by two hollow looking eyes on a translucent wrinkly face. A mysterious and vaporous illusion hovering in front of me. The face of an old man.

I stumbled back a few feet and when I regained focus the face was gone. In complete panic I attempted to run. My feet sprung into action and I bolted towards the hallway again, and just when I should have been exiting the room I hit something. Like a wall blocking me from the hallway. I fell onto my back and the door slammed shut again. My attempts over the past few hours to open it again have been fruitless, the clock is still blinking 12:00AM, its the only light in the room right now besides the glow of this monitor. There is also something noteworthy that grew from a bother into a pestering nuisance I need remedied. There is a constant whisper in the room I am in. It sounds as though they are saying my name but "it" doesn’t really sound like a voice, but more of an underlying feeling I have. The windows seem to be bolted shut.

I just heard a noise down the hall, perhaps it was whatever was holding the door locked (there is no lock) and it is now free. I will go see if I can get out. I am going to write another report as soon as I figure out what’s going on. Sadly, I do not know the date. I'm confused again. Damn it.

- posted by jake @ 1:55 AM

 

I Found These Notes(.Day.3.)

It is the third day now, my hunt has as of yet turned up no results. Though I met who I believe to be my best friend today. Throughout the course of our interactions together I spotted several points where he gave me a double take, or paused after I said something, clearly in thought. A few of the things he said stood out to me, sort of responses that felt out of place, like he wasn’t flowing naturally the way you generally do while conversing with a close friend.

In one instance he asked me if I had 10 cents on me, I reached into my pocket and I did have it. I gave it to him and he looked at me with sort of a look of disbelief. I didn't ask, but its a strange vibe I have been picking up everywhere. As though I am not so much a selfish greedy person, as much as I am a lazy person. I feel as though I could have dissuaded the look by perhaps waiting a few seconds before searching for the dime.

On the other hand I probably could have searched for the dime, found it, and then waited a few seconds. They would return completely different results. Which has sprung an idea.

I think I may figure out more tricks like this to gain a better understanding of my overall character. Maybe I could put people through tests, things they wouldn’t notice, but would help me figure out what variable turns up what result in every day conversation. Whatever character Ian had previously been displaying, is obviously one that Ian found to be a working style, it went along with his look, his clothes, and his general vibe schematics.

It takes years for someone to actually develop their character, the person they make up to act as while responding to people. We look at it as just ourselves, our attitude, but in reality it is something that is structured ourselves, which can be mimicked. And I plan to see through these tests just what kind of person I am.

I gather that I will know I am on the right track when I get no odd looks or responses. Even a double take means that I am on the wrong track, and its only so long before my new disposition is accepted and they stop letting me know when I am behaving out of character. I am going to the mall with my friend tomorrow, hopefully we will meet a few more of my buddies for a slightly closer peek into my looking glass. The date is most certainly August 11th, 2004. (it feels good being positive)

- posted by jake @ 12:10 AM

 

I Found These Notes(.Day.2.)

I finally built up the nerve to leave this room. I went out today, I was out all day. With me I took a backpack of Objects found in "my" room. I am thinking it might be a good time to do some exploring, see if I can figure out what’s really going on. I'm hoping to figure out as much as possible as soon as possible, I really hate the feeling of blatant ignorance of my surroundings and myself. It's like I am some sort of building block, stacking on layers as I figure things out, hoping to finally recognize the whole figure. Whether its good or bad.

One of the items that I took with me in the backpack was an MP3 player. I listened to it while I walked around. I felt so odd, I didn't understand why, but I was having a complete change of heart about things I had just finalized mentally. I loved it though, I loved what it was doing to me. Depending on which music I was listening to I was having a total change of heart, those beats, the rhythms, they guided me feet in directions only to instantly fling me around. I loved it, I felt like I was being controlled, like I was playing puppet. I didn’t care for it to end.

After the whole experience was over I decided it was time I head home. Funny thing happened, when I walked into the house I was accosted by 'my' mother. I don’t really mind though, its beginning to be rather fun. If all that happens when I come in late, is a meager reprimanding. What’s to lose?. It doesn’t look like Ian gets detained when he gets in trouble, good deal. I think this might be kind of like an adventure. It's as though I have a bad case of amnesia and am rebuilding my life. Which brought up the idea of me claiming to have amnesia to learn about his life recently. But I don’t think it would be a good idea now that I have thought it out.

I want to figure this mess out myself, play detective for a while. It doesn’t matter anyways though, knowledge of 'my' life is really trivial, I want to know about me. That is probably going to require going a little more in depth with the situation to work stuff out. Right now I just feel like a tourist walking through this town looking at everything blankly, not asking any questions, no questions to ask. This is like nothing I could have ever imagined, this is more than a medical situation, this is surreal. The date is definitely, August 10th, 2004.

- posted by jake @ 4:11 AM